


They Were Like Northern Stars

by thesassmaster



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, First time that isn't very detailed..., Fluff and Angst, Fluffy, Happy Ending, Harry's oblivious, Lots of Original Characters - Freeform, M/M, Niall's POV to start with, Pining Niall, Sad Niall, angsty, sort of a song fic, sort of future fic, then i don't know what happens, until he isn't, very brief Ziall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 11:00:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1119063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesassmaster/pseuds/thesassmaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And he wants love and laughter and kisses and love making and hand holding and hugs and romance and passion and shared clothing and matching rings and wedding bells and kids and a life.<br/>He wants a lifetime, wants forever with Harry so he waits.<br/>He waits patiently with a smile on his face for his turn, his chance, promises himself that once it is he won't let Harry go like the many that had come before him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This Much I Know is True

**Author's Note:**

> The summary rots because I don't know how to describe this one...it's sort of fic for the song Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts or the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, which ever you prefer.  
> But it started out with the title 'patience is a virtue' so you can imagine what that was all about...yeah i don't know!  
> Split up into 2 parts because wow!
> 
> I'd love to know what everybody thinks!

Niall considers himself a very patient person. He's always been that way.

Always. 

He's a very chill kind of guy, he doesn't dwell on things, doesn't let things get under his skin. Well not many things.

Okay only one thing.

One  _person_.

Harry.

 

And that's where the patient part comes in handy.

...

 

Niall's had this awful, pitiful crush on Harry since the X Factor that's 3 years and counting for anyone who wants to know. It's all consuming; this crush of his, Niall knew he'd got it bad before anyone had to tell him so because he could feel the intensity of it from the top of his head all the way down to the tips of his toes and everywhere, _everywhere_  in between.

3 years, that's a damn long time to like someone, a hell of a long time to hang on and wait while having absolutely nothing to show for his efforts.

Well besides Harry's friendship but he doesn't want mere friendship from Harry. 

 

He wants it all. 

 

He wants everything.

 

He wants late, sleepless nights curled around each other just whispering their love into the darkness. And he wants early morning wake up calls where lips press hotly to his own, rousing him from sleep in the best way there is. He wants breakfast in bed and movie dates and Christmas's in London with both their families together around the table.

And he wants love and laughter and kisses and love making and hand holding and hugs and romance and passion and shared clothing and matching rings and wedding bells and kids and a life. He wants a lifetime, wants forever with Harry so he waits.

He waits patiently with a smile for his turn, promises himself that once it is he won't let Harry go like the many that had come before him.

He swears that once Harry is his he won't ever let him get away.

 

...

 

Sure Harry had been with people before Niall met him, like when he was in school when he was younger but after Niall met him, the fame they came into only made Harry more desirable. 

 

He sort of, kinda can't stand that.

 

Can't stand it because there's this never ending line of potential partners that Niall is  _constantly_  at that back of, where Harry can't see him. It's like the line in airport security that  _doesn't move_ , at all, inches an hour, snail’s pace, like what's the hold up? No he won't ever give up but it's really hard to constantly wear a smile when it seems like every other,  _any_  other person with a beating heart has a better shot than Niall.

It just sort of sucks. But Niall's nothing if not a dreamer so he'll never stop hoping and wishing and praying for the day when Harry looks at him and sees him, really  _sees_  him and realizes how blind he's been. Because Niall's been there from the beginning and Harry's been looking for him all along he just hadn't been aware of it previously.

 

Thank goodness patience is a virtue that Niall's been known to possess.

.....

 

The first girl Niall's there to witness Harry like and date and fawn over is Natalie. 

Niall isn't going to lie and say he's a fan. Because he isn't. Not at all.

She's horrendously fake and, and, and icky! She's so icky!

She always wears these dreadful stick on eyelashes that are so obviously not real it's disgusting. And she has this stringy black hair and dark brown eyes that look like horse shit. Okay that was mean, and harsh, but she's not a nice person! And she certainly isn't good for Harry.

 

Niall's briefly offended because this is the girl Harry likes (what would ever possess Harry to like her?) and then there's Niall who,  _come on_  is twice the person she'll ever be and she's...awful. And fake and yucky how is this okay? 

She doesn't even have any good things to say she only ever giggles loudly, obnoxiously and smacks her gum, never has anything to contribute and sits there taking up space twirling her dead ass around her skeletal fingers, strands catching where her fake nails have detached from the glue underneath. She's just gross. And mean, did he say that she's mean because she is. And rude, so, so rude.

 

Natalie is the very picture of the bitchy cheerleader, cliquey, rich princess that every high school has. She's it and Niall can't stand her. 

He hopes harder than he'd ever hoped for anything before that Harry's taste improves because if Niall was going to have competition he better at least be beat out by someone decent, someone worthy of Harry. For the love of god, anyone would be better than Natalie.

 

As Harry grows up, matures so does his taste in women, thank god.

 

Maria is next and she's absolute leaps and bounds better than Natalie so Niall feels better. Or as good as he can feel when Harry's with someone else and not him.

Niall likes her well enough, likes her even more when she doesn't make it past the 2 month mark because now he's back in it. But he does feel a little bad because Maria was funny and nice to be around even if she was the one Harry wrapped his arms around before and after the shows, with her dirty blonde hair and wide smile, hazel eyes that always looked happy, Niall liked her. But it wasn't meant to be and that's perfectly okay with Niall.

 

Olivia comes after Maria, she lasts the longest so far out of any of them, 4 months, 10 days and she's nice and pretty and liked by all of them, the general consensus is 'we like this one', that is until she cheats on Harry with a footballer from the states, effectively breaking Harry's heart and gaining the contempt of every member of the One Direction family. Niall holds Harry for days on end as he cries and sobs and wails over the heartbreaking betrayal of it all and Niall bites his tongue because he wants so badly to just shake Harry till he wakes the fuck up, wants to yell at him till he sees that Niall's  _right there_ and he would  _never_  hurt him, ever. Harry's all he wants and he would sooner trap himself in an elevator on purpose than cheat on him, if Harry was his to cheat on that is.

But he doesn't say anything, he can't, he has to wait till Harry wants him all on his own.

 

So he continues to twiddle his thumbs and count the cars that pass on the highway, tries not to seem too hurt when Harry says "I thought she was the one," but gosh darn it does that sting.

Niall curls up in Liam's arms that night and just cries because  _he's_  the one, he  _knows_  he is but Harry still doesn't see it, still doesn't see  _him_.

  
There's Lily after that. They start dating in the winter and are done before the snow melts but man oh man does Niall want to hate her. Not that he hates anyone but if he had the ability to hate a person, if he could he'd hate Lily because she's about as perfect as perfect can get. 

With her charming, sweet smile and friendly demeanor she's like sugar but not overly so. Everyone liked her which only made Niall want to hate her all the more. 

She was good for Harry and that felt like a knife to the heart but their schedules conflicted and lives got in the way so they broke things off. And Niall still wonders to this day if things had been different, if Harry wasn't in a world famous band and Lily didn't have a job that forced her out of town at a moments notice as well would they be that pair that met on the street and fell in love on their second date. If things were different would Niall have lost Harry to Lily, beautiful, wonderful Lily who had dark hair and dark eyes and dark features and was warmer and more alluring than a Tahitian beach and made everyone stop and listen when she opened her mouth to speak.

They had made sense and had fit together effortlessly, they just didn't have the time to  _work_  the way they potentially could've. It kept Niall up at night for weeks after thinking about how if they did have the time to develop their relationship how deep in love would Harry have fallen for her? How bright would they have shined? How tremendously would they have flourished? It always makes Niall sick to think about it. So he stops. Well he tries.

 

There's a bit of a reprieve through the Take Me Home tour and Harry spends so much time with him that Niall actually starts to think they might be an actual thing! Sometimes it feels like they're dating and he loves it. 

Obviously he gets his hopes up, thinks that Harry's finally done with all the others, ready to start something with Niall, settle in with him, right where he belongs but by the time the American leg of the tour winds down Harry's back in it and Niall's left in pieces.

 

There's Jessica, after Harry's little hiatus from dating, who was adamant that no one call her Jessie, the boys didn't like her much so they always called her Jessie just to piss her off. They happened fast, break-neck speed and were burnt out faster than a car could stop but she wasn’t good for Harry like Lily had been so Niall yelled 'don't let the door hit ya on the way out!' And Louis added to the joke, Zayn's laughter egging them on and Liam called her Jessie one last time as they watched her retreat across the parking lot and Niall still doesn't know why Harry was smiling at him that day.

Then there's Emily then Serena then Kate and then Zoe. None of them last long and with each passing relationship Niall could feel himself moving up in that line of potentials, security signs about liquids in bags, keys and laptops in the bin finally visible from his spot in line, finally getting closer,  _finally._

 

It's at the tail end of the Where We Are Tour, (coming up on the 4 year mark of pining after Harry to no avail), though that Niall gets his heartbroken because Harry dates a  _guy_. 

 

The first guy he's ever seen Harry actually  _be_  with, sure he's always flirted shamelessly with people, gender be damned but this is the first time Harry has taken a serious interest and gone on dates with and looked like he could actually fall in love with a guy. 

Niall was actually stupid enough (and he kicks himself profusely for it), to believe he'd be the one that Harry decided to cross that gender line for. 

 

His name is Travis, Harry calls him Trav and he is  _very_  attractive which only adds to his pain. Hair so dark it's almost black with these piercing blue eyes and Niall can only imagine how Harry can't look away from them when they're together. He's absolutely breathtaking, Niall has every reason to be jealous and boy is he ever! 

And not only because Travis is a looker but because Harry's crazy about him, everyone sees it.

There's this twinkle in Harry's eyes when he looks at Travis, when he talks about him and he laughs louder, shines brighter but Niall thought it'd be him that invoked all those changes because Harry was supposed to discover himself, find who he was meant to be in Niall's arms, in Niall's eyes, in Niall's love and in Niall's unwavering, everlasting commitment to him.

 

Travis is a dancer, long and lean, powerful and graceful and Niall knows Harry's in love with the way he carries himself, with the way he  _moves_. Niall wants Harry to be in love with the way he moves but for now it's Travis and Harry hardly sees anyone but him.

 

It gets harder and harder to deal with though as Harry falls further and further in love with his flawless dancer of a boyfriend. The others start to notice.

They've known all along that Niall's smitten with their youngest band mate but now they see how deep his affections go. They see how it hurts him when Harry pulls Travis against him; how it stings watching the way they fit together. They witness how he blinks rapidly, constantly when they kiss, in a sorry attempt at keeping his tears at bay. They know full well how hard it is for Niall to listen to Harry on the phone with Travis, giggling like a school girl, using pet names and sighing happily every few seconds. And they definitely don't miss how Niall flinches as Harry says "I love you more," because Niall  _knows_  but that doesn't mean hearing Harry confirming his feelings for somebody else doesn't tear a giant gaping hole in his chest.

....

 

It's a Tuesday afternoon and Niall's been hiding in the bathroom of the arena they're at because Travis is visiting and Niall really doesn't want to watch him suck Harry's face off as the lover's reunion commences. 

Liam finally lures him out with the promise of lunch and some footie in the parking lot before rehearsals. 

 

He runs into Zayn in the hallway who tells him to cool his jets but laughs it off when Niall says he's going to get something to eat. Zayn offers to join him. Things turn sour though, when they enter the dressing room that has the biggest food table. 

Niall stumbles back into Zayn chest at the sight before him.

Sure he's seen Harry kiss other people, has seen Harry kiss Travis, more times than he'd prefer but this is different.

This is, is...it's crushing,  _debilitating_. 

 

Travis's shirt is on the floor, his hands are pushed up under Harry's, their mouths are open, heads tipped at painful looking angles, tongues entwined obscenely and Harry groans low and desperate as Travis rolls his hips down into Harry's. 

 

Niall thinks he might be sick. 

 

It's a level of intimacy he never wanted to witness between Harry and anyone else, anyone who wasn't him. If he didn't ever see it he could still pretend it didn't exist outside his head. That way Niall could still imagine that he'd be the only one Harry would find pleasure in once he finally opened his eyes.

 

But now it's time for Niall to open his eyes because this was happening and it fucking  _hurt_.

Zayn's arms snake around his waist, tug him close to his chest, hold him tight but Niall still feels like he's falling to pieces. 

"Oh my god," he gasps as his chest tightens and his lungs squeeze harshly around the last of his oxygen. He feels like he's suffocating.

" _Oh my god_ ," and there are tears in his eyes because this is so real it's painful and he just wants to  _die_.

 

"Shh, Ni let's go," Zayn soothes in his ear, voice practically silent not that they'd disturb the two snogging intensely on the couch, nothing could.

 

Niall wrenches himself out of Zayn's arms with a small cry, whips around to glare at Zayn but it dissipates almost instantly because he's just too hurt to feel anything  _but_  devastation. He just wants to cry and curl back into Zayn's arms till this storm passes and Harry leaves Travis so he can finally be Niall's but Niall can't figure out why it's taking so bloody long! 

He's all out of patience, doesn't know if he'll be able to wait very much longer and Harry doesn't seem to care.

 

"Ni, you alright," and that's the voice Niall can't go a day without hearing. Harry's low, slow drawl, warm and syrupy directed at him but Niall still can't breathe and Harry talking to him isn't helping.

Niall looks at him then, allows himself to look because he's a glutton for punishment apparently, eyes wide and vulnerable, he sees Travis moving to the other side of the couch, leaning over the side to get his shirt, tugging it back on as he blushes. 

Niall frowns at them. 

 

"No, no," Niall's voice cracks, "Not really no," because he's so far from okay he doesn't think he'd know what 'okay' looked like if it bit him on the nose and Zayn moves back up behind him, starts tugging him but Niall's rooted to this spot. He won't be moved.

 

And then Harry's moving off the couch, standing quickly, readjusting his disheveled shirt as he makes his way towards the blond. 

Niall has to force the bile that rises in his throat back down as he sees the slight bulge in the front of Harry's tight trousers, sees how swollen, slick and red his lips are.

He turns his head away as Harry comes to stand in front of him. Hands reach out for him but Niall bats them away.

 

"Niall," Harry says, soft and concerned, Niall honestly thinks he's gonna puke. Harry tries again, hands reaching for him once more and Niall trips back, colliding with Zayn's solid chest. 

 

"I can't do this," Niall whimpers and Zayn's arms should feel like a life preserver but instead they feel like they're drowning him, pulling him down with the under tow. Zayn breathes against his ear, shushes him gently, soothes at him but it doesn't help. 

 

"So Niall what say you and me take on Liam and Josh in footie," Louis' loud voice comes from the hallway. And then there's Liam exclaiming about how that match up isn't fair  _at all._  

 

They barge through the open door and Louis' eyes get so big, so fast they look like they're going to pop right out of the sockets. Liam's eyes dart between Niall's crumpled self and Harry's tense stance and Travis who looks lost but concerned on the couch before it hits him, "Oh no," he says under his breath. 

 

"Niall please, what's wrong," Harry sounds so desperate Niall actually thinks that for a second there he cares. He knows better though. Harry cares about Travis, there isn't room for Niall.

The taller boy tries yet again to get to Niall, arms outstretched and when his fingers graze Niall's exposed forearms the smaller boy loses it. 

 

" _Don't_  touch me," Niall hisses and Harry takes a step back, looking wounded as he goes. "Don't you  _dare_   _fucking_  touch me," it's filled with so much venom and resentment that Harry doesn't even think its Niall standing in front of him. Travis is up then, coming to stand behind Harry like the perfect boyfriend he is, coming to defend his man. Niall hates it, for the first time he actually truly,  _genuinely_  hates something and it's this, everything, all of it. 

 

Travis with Harry.

 

Harry with Travis.

 

Harry with anybody who isn't him, it's never been like this.

 

He's been patient and hopeful for 4 long years now but he's at the end of his rope. So when Travis' hand lands on Harry's shoulder, comforting and protective, like he could deter Niall's fury, it's the straw that breaks the camels' back so to speak and he snaps. 

He doubles over, Zayn's arms only barely keeping him from landing on the floor, broken sobs and labored breathing; Harry looks so shocked, so upset by Niall's behavior that Liam wishes Niall could see it so he could have his hope renewed. Seeing that face on Harry because Niall was crying could change everything.

 

When Harry tries to speak up again Louis won't let him, "Don't Harry," 

 

"But  _what's wrong,_ " Harry begs at them but none of them say anything in response. And nobody sees how when Travis tries to pull Harry back into a hug how Harry pushes him away. And nobody sees him staring intently at Niall with this heartbreaking, unguarded hopelessness and blatant, crushing despair. 

Zayn's arms are still tight around Niall's middle when Liam moves his arms underneath Niall's numb body, Zayn let's go only when he's sure Liam has him. He picks him up like a small child, cradles Niall safely to his chest and carries him out of the room, hushing his relentless sobbing, Louis and Zayn right behind him leaving Harry an utter spluttering mess and Travis questioning where exactly he stands in all of this.

....

 

There are a lot of tears shed that afternoon and Niall's hoarse by the time the show rolls around. He screws up a few songs but the guys cover it up with ease, his heart just isn't in it tonight. 

They do some drinking when they get back to the hotel, actually a lot of drinking and Niall does an extra shot for an absent Harry and downs another one for Travis who is the reason Harry's MIA. 

 

He cries some more and drinks half a bottle of whiskey on his own and when Louis and Liam conk out on the couch and Zayn leans over him where he's star-fished out on the floor, Niall doesn't move away. And when Zayn's lips land on his, Niall accepts the kiss with a faint smile because he's sad and tipsy and hasn't felt wanted or desired or even  _liked_  physically in so long. His arms drape loosely around Zayn's shoulders and Zayn moves over him further, hovers above him. Niall's legs wrap around Zayn's back, hook over his hips as a tongue makes its way along the seam of his lips. 

"I'm sorry he hurt you today," Zayn whispers against his mouth but Niall only tugs him back down, sucks on Zayn's bottom lip till Zayn joins the kiss again because Niall forgot what this felt like. He forgot what feeling these sorts of feelings  _should_  feel like.

And it's pathetic and ridiculous and he'd never admit it to anyone but he kinda forgot what  _kissing_  felt like,  _period_. He can't even remember the last time he'd been kissed. 

Here was Zayn though, licking at the inside of his mouth like a champ and Niall could feel himself seeping into the carpet like a puddle on a Dublin street, cool, fresh Irish rain. He doesn't want to stop, doesn't ever want to stop, because Zayn's lips are so perfect and his tongue should be outlawed and his hair is softer than silk, his body is hard and rigid and safe above his, and he's got scruff which Niall didn't think he'd like but it tickles and burns, rubs against his skin just right. Niall likes it, likes all of it.

Granted Niall would like it better if it was Harry but he pushes that thought away because he can't have Harry right now, shouldn't want him anymore to be fair.

His head is foggy with alcohol and Zayn and this sudden influx of good feelings, nice feelings he can't think about Harry anymore, doesn't want to so he stops and opens his mouth wider as Zayn twists his head to the other side to make the kiss better, sloppier.

 

They don't hear the door open and shut, don't hear Harry shuffle down the hall to the living area of Niall's hotel suite, too busy learning the expanses of each other's mouths. 

Harry gasps loudly when he enters the room and Zayn hears that. 

Niall doesn't and he doesn't understand why Zayn's stopped kissing him. 

"Zee don't...come back," he whines, needy for him and Zayn turns his head to glance at Harry in the doorway then back to Niall who's eyes are still closed, blissfully so. Harry covers his mouth, blinks owlishly at the pair on the floor.

 

"Harry," Zayn says but he doesn't know if he's addressing the man in the doorway or letting Niall know he's there in the room or simply reminding Niall why he's so desperate for this or what...he doesn't know anything.

 

"Don't Zayn," Niall sighs tugging him down again, kissing him quickly and Zayn keeps his eyes open and on Harry who's already sinking back into the shadows. "Don't wanna talk about him, want you please," and Zayn kisses Niall quiet, tries not to enjoy the way Niall hums at his touch, at the contact their skin is making.

He sucks Niall's tongue into his mouth, loves the moan it pulls from the blonde and a few moments later when Zayn looks back at the door Harry isn't there anymore.

....

 

When Niall wakes up in the morning he's naked in his bed, Zayn's sprawled out beside him with The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway open on his chest where he's reading it.

 

Niall rolls over, curling into his side with a sleepy gurgle, blinks tiredly up at the other who smiles down at him, moving an arm around him, leaning in to kiss the top of his head before going back to his book. 

Niall takes to tracing patterns along Zayn's ribs while Zayn's hand moves against his upper arm, it dawns on him about mid-way through the 5th swirl he was tracing that he's naked. And Zayn's there in his bed, is he naked too?!

 

"Zayn," Niall whispers, voice rough from lack of use and all the crying he did last night but quiet. The older boy hums an acknowledgement, places a finger between the pages to mark his place, eyes moving to meet Niall's wide blue ones. 

"Did we..." He can't even say it. If they did, he wouldn't...he couldn't have possibly! Even hurt the way he was, drunk and upset he wouldn't have done anything beyond second base with Zayn! 

He's saving himself for Harry! He made that promise to himself when he was 16!

Zayn gets his drift, shakes his head down at the blonde boy in his arms. "No, we didn't. We kissed a lot and I sucked you off but that's it," Zayn pauses as Niall looks wholly relieved at that statement. "I wouldn't have done that Ni, wouldn't've taken advantage of you, not with everything else," and as vague as that is Niall knows what he's referring to. 

 

 _Harry_.

 

Niall burrows deeper into his side, tucking the blanket tighter around his body and Zayn just places his book on the bedside table before pulling him closer. Multiple kisses land on the top on Niall's head before Zayn asks if he maybe wants to talk about it, about anything. 

 

Niall sighs heavily, shakes his head no but a few moments later, "I'm in love with him and he doesn't even care." 

 

"Niall," Zayn starts softly, almost chastising because he can hear it in his voice how he's about to talk himself down in the way that Zayn's always disliked.

 

"I want to be his everything, hell at this point I'd take being only a something to him. Anything would be better than this. He doesn't even notice me."

 

Niall's voice hitches so Zayn presses his kisses harder into Niall's skin, "I've been so patient Zayn," 

 

"I know you have baby," 

 

"I've loved him for so long. I've watched him love so many other people, when's it gonna be my turn?!"

And Zayn doesn't know what to say because he doesn't have an answer for that. Not a definite one and Niall needs definite right now, he can't take any more uncertainty, anymore not knowing, anymore walking blind would be the end of that perfect little leprechaun, that's for sure.

 

"And ya know what the worst part is?! It's that he has the power to hurt me worse than anyone else in the whole world, or make me happier than anyone else can and he doesn't even know, he doesn't see it, he doesn't care. I'm  _right here_  for  _fucks sake_ and he never so much as fucking looks my way,"

 

"You've been so good with all of this. Harry's just oblivious is all,"

 

"Yeah, tell me about it," Niall laughs humorlessly at his own words. Zayn's arms tighten and it's a promise to Niall that he'll be there till Niall doesn't need him anymore and even then he won't wander too far just in case Niall requires him back for whatever reason. 

....

 

Later that same day Zayn and Liam are walking down the hall back up from the pool when Harry appears in the hallway from his room. 

"Hey guys," Harry says and it's awkward but not in the way Harry sometimes is, it's different. For a reason none of them can put their fingers on. 

 

"Where's Niall," Harry asks his tone flippant but his eyes are hard and heavy on Zayn, dead set with a smidgen of distaste. 

 

"With Louis," Liam answers as Zayn narrows his eyes at Harry's unwarranted scrutiny.

 

"Where's Trav," and maybe Zayn's tone is a bit harsher than is absolutely necessary but who is Harry to grill him when he leaves Niall gutted like a fish on a mother fucking daily basis!

 

Harry's demeanor changes then, he looks a little guilty. "Uh, he...he left last night."

Liam and Zayn are both surprised by that response. Travis had at least 3 days to visit Harry, he wouldn't leave when he'd barely had a day with him, would he?

Harry doesn't look too keen on talking about it though so neither of them press the matter further.

 

"So do you guys know what's going on with Niall?" Well Harry's in a rather chatty mood today isn't he?! 

But it's the catch in his voice that alerts Liam of his genuine interest, and let's Zayn know that maybe Harry isn't all that oblivious after all.

Although it did take Niall crumbling at his feet for him to finally see that something was up with his friend so he takes it back. Nobody is more oblivious than Harry.

 

"Yes," Liam says plainly and Zayn's more than happy to let him take the reigns on this one.

Harry makes this face that says, 'go on,' but Liam doesn't. 

He just stares at Harry indifferently till the younger boy shifts from foot to foot uneasily.

 

"I'm worried,"

"Why," 

"Because,"

"Because why," 

"Because he seems...sad," Harry's eyes flicker over to Zayn for help but then look away because maybe Niall was sad but it was pretty apparent that Zayn brightened his spirits considerably last night.

"He's  _very_  sad Harry," it's almost comical how little Liam is giving Harry to work with here but Zayn thinks it's ingenious because if Harry's going to come to any conclusion on his situation with Niall it's better he do it on his own.

"Yeah but why," his voice catches again.

"You tell me Harry, why's Niall sad?"

"I dunno,"

"Well let me know when you figure it out, yeah,"

 

Harry pulls a face, a thinking face before chewing on his lip in contemplation.

"Do  _you_  know the reason," he wonders quietly, like he isn't sure that's a good question to ask.

" _Of course_ I do," Liam's voice is cold as ice when he answers Harry. Eyes reduced to slits, he takes a challenging step towards Harry who doesn't move. Strong and determined. 

"Everyone  _but_  you knows," Liam's acidic tone cuts through the air again, sending a shiver down Zayn's spine. He's never heard Liam like this before.

 

"Please Liam," Harry's mere seconds away from getting on his knees and begging and he'll do it if he has to.

"Harry if you can't figure it out on your own you don't deserve to know,"

And that's how Liam leaves it. He stalks away without another word leaving Harry lost and dumbfounded. Zayn decides he needs a drink, needs to get the taste of this out of his mouth.

....

 

Harry's persistent if nothing else, he needs to know what's going on with Niall because he doesn't like seeing him sad and he'd like to help if he can.

He also doesn't like how distant Niall's been with him the last few days, he avoids Harry at all costs, moves away from him if Harry gets too close, doesn't initiate conversation and only talks to Harry if he absolutely has to.

Harry can't help but feel like some part of this is his fault because Niall's not avoiding anybody else, just him.

It's awful and Harry just wants Niall back. He's been focusing all his attention on it, on finding out how to help Niall through whatever it is he's dealing with. He's been so distracted and invested that he hasn't even so much as texted Trav since he left the other day and he feels bad, of course he does but Harry needs to make sure Niall's okay. 

For whatever reason Niall feels more important to him right now, he can always call Travis later.

 

"Louis please, just tell me what it is," Harry's groveling again. To the three of them, Niall's off skyping Greg and Denise because Theo's just started talking and Niall  _needs_  to hear it, so Harry takes advantage of his absence.

Louis doesn't make to say anything.

Harry heaves a heavy sigh.

"Please guys, I wanna help,"

 

"You can't,"

Harry flinches back, "What...what do you mean,"

"Nothing Harry just drop it," Louis sounds like he wants nothing more than to take back what he just said.

"I can't 'drop it' Lou," Harry gets right in Louis' face, "I can't because I have to help, I feel like this is my fault but I don't know what I've done...I just don't know what do to do.

"And I hate not knowing, something's definitely going on but no one will tell me what it is and Niall won't talk to me and he won't look at me and he doesn't want to be near me, I mean he won't even tell me what I did, is he mad at me, did I say something wrong or--"

 

"He's in love with you." 

Harry stammers to a stop, chokes on his tongue as his heart stutters before picking up again, thumping loudly in his ears.

"Yeah I thought you'd say that," is what Louis says to Harry's uncomfortable silence.

 

"B-but...but," Harry gasps, standing stock still. "He's not...no he isn't, he can't be,"

 

Liam looks so pissed at how Harry's reacting, "Well sorry to disappoint you but he is, very much so and he has been for nearly 4 years now,"

 

"Oh my god," and Harry starts pacing back and forth across the small room they're in. Features working frantically as he processes this new information. 

"So what he wants to date me," 

 

"Yeah but-"

"Okay that's fine,"

"What? What do you mean 'that's fine,' he doesn't just want to date you, he wants you, like all of you, he wants to be Travis."

"That's silly."

"No, no it really isn't,"

"Niall doesn't want me and even if he did he seems pretty happy with Zayn,"

 

Zayn stiffens because Louis and Liam don't know about that.

"What," Louis says like Harry's finally gone mad, talking gibberish but then Liam hits him when he sees Zayn's sheepish expression and they both know that Harry's not talking complete shit.

 

"What the hell Zayn,"

"We just kissed okay…he was so devastated and he just looked like he'd never find someone to love him so I kissed him to make him feel better. We were drunk okay, it was nothing,"

 

"Oh please you two were practically shagging, I fucking saw you," Harry screeches and Zayn isn't sure this situation could get any worse.

"We didn't have sex okay, nothing like that-"

Harry cuts him off, "How could you take advantage of him like that?!" Okay, so apparently it can get worse.

 

Everything sort of stops and Zayn glares holes into Harry's head. "I would never,  _ever_  force myself on anyone.  _Especially_  Niall, that's _my baby_. And why do you even care Harry, a second ago you thought we were lying about him liking you at all," it's chilling the way his voice is level and quiet, he isn't shouting but he looks pissed and none of them have ever seen Harry so shaken, so regretful.

"Learn your fucking place Harry, you're completely out of line,"

 

It's quiet, uncomfortably quiet for a little while as Zayn seethes silently, looking about ready to rip Harry's head off and Harry tries to wrap his head around everything.

"'M sorry Zee," he says, head down turned to the floor. Zayn nods his head though accepting the apology for what it is, sincere.

"So how do I fix this, Ni probably hates me now huh,” and Zayn thinks he's completely missing the point. Louis just stares at him dumbstruck while Liam struggles to contain himself. It doesn't go very well and he pops.

 

"You can't  _fix this_ Harry, at least not how you're thinking. You can't just kiss this better, it's not a scratch or a cut…this is fucking serious. And any damage you do now could be lasting, severely so. He needs you and wants you and  _loves you_ but none of that matters if you don't feel the same way. 

"If you don't love him too then you can't fix this. And if you think you can fake it just to make him smile, make him stop crying you're wrong…I won't let you do that to him. Niall's been crazy about you from the very beginning and he's been so damn patient. He's waited quietly on the side, watched as you paraded girl after girl past him, and he just smiled like a good friend all the while dying inside because you saw everyone  _but_  him and he hated it…

“And then Travis, Jesus nothing's hurt him worse than Travis, a boy Harry really? He was able to deal with the girls because maybe you weren't gay but then Travis and you're gay for him,  _with_ him but not Niall! Is there something wrong with him, is he not good enough for you, is that why you've never noticed the heart eyes he's always giving you, or how he blushes when you so much as look at him,"

 

"NO, no of course not...Niall's, Niall's...Niall is, he's...he's  _perfect_."

 

Liam nods his head because they all think Niall's pretty perfect too. 

"You just aren't in love with him," Zayn says. 

Harry ducks his head, shamefaced and sorry.

"I didn't know,"

"That's been the problem," Zayn hisses under his breath but Harry still hears it and shies away.

 

"I have to fix this, or talk to him at least."

"No Haz," Louis starts but Harry's already frantically deciding what he needs to do and how he needs to do it.

"I have to let him know that I know and-"

"Harry stop,"

"But-"

"No Harry don't,"

Harry's quiet then. 

"Harry you need to go, that's what you need to do. Niall's waited this long, he can wait a couple more weeks. You need to think about all of this and think about his feelings for you and how that makes you feel. Get your shit together and once you know, once you realize how absolutely perfect for you he is then you can come back. But only then because he doesn't deserve anymore uncertainty from you Harry, he's dealt with so much."

 

"But what if I find that I don't feel the same way," 

Liam thinks about that, "Then stay away from him, would you really put Niall through that, now knowing what it would do to him. Knowing you don't love him back, that would destroy him, Harry,"

 

And before anyone can even think about what Liam's just said there's this broken dying animal sound from the doorway and they all whip around simultaneously to face Niall who looks like his entire world is falling down around his ears. Like he's got nothing left, purpose gone, fire burnt out, nothing just...nothing. 

Liam regrets his words instantly seeing Niall and the look on his face. They all watch his lip wobble dangerously; eyes close tightly before he tears back out of the room.

"Shit," Liam scolds himself and he and Zayn are already running out of the room after him.

 

Harry looks stricken and Louis doesn't know what to do. 

"I never said I didn't love him back," Harry says but it sounds like he's talking more to himself than to Louis.

 

Louis clears his throat and when Harry jumps his suspicions are confirmed because Harry thought he was alone. His eyes are wide and begging for assistance when they meet Louis'. 

"I could love him back ya know,"

Louis nods because he does know; Harry could fall in love with Niall, if he hadn't already.

"I know Haz," and Harry looks relieved, "Liam's right though you shouldn't stir the pot with Niall until you know for sure because he's waited so long for you, he doesn't need any false hope. If you don't actually love him you should leave him to get over you, it'd take time but he'd find somebody else, somebody who  _could_  love him."

 

"I can, I will...I just,"

"Need time," Louis finishes for him. But time isn't something they have all that much of, not with Niall in the current state that he's in.

 


	2. That God Blessed the Broken Road, that Led Me Straight to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He doesn't know when it had hit him, what made him finally open his eyes but he remembers sitting on his bed about 3 days in and just blinking at the coverlet before jerking back in surprise because duh, Niall's in love with him, how could he have been so stupid, so blind?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This gets super cheesy and corny about a quarter of the way in, you've been warned!  
> What Harry does is just, yeah, okay.
> 
> Happy ending time!

It takes two weeks of thinking, two agonizing weeks but Harry comes to a solid decision about his feelings for Niall. It's the best one for Harry and hopefully for Niall too.

He calls Travis on his 4th day of confinement because this isn't fair to him and Harry loves him but he thinks he might love somebody else more. Travis understands and Harry wonders if everyone knew about Niall and him  _but_  him.

 

He doesn't know when it had hit him, what made him finally open his eyes but he remembers sitting on his bed about 3 days in and just blinking at the coverlet before jerking back in surprise because duh, Niall's in love with him, how could he have been  _so stupid_ , so  _blind_?

 

Niall who is an actual ball of sunshine and happiness. Niall who is perfect and wonderful, a Celtic angel sent to enrich Harry's life with smiles and music and light. Niall who is the  _best_  of every one of his previous partners all wrapped up into one magnificent boy who Harry is lucky enough to have the love of.

Niall who is beautiful and extraordinary and special and right, everything Harry's always wanted just hadn't been aware of till now.

 

The 4th day after calling Travis, he thinks about the possibility of all this. Could he really not have known? All this time, was he really completely unaware from the start? 

Thinks about all the people he's been with when he could've been with Niall all along. 

Thinks about all the time he's wasted on those other people, all of those girls, time he could've been spending with Niall.

Can he get that time back? No, not necessarily but he'd like to, he'd like to make it up to Niall, if he can.

Could he be in love with Niall too? 

Does it happen that fast?

Was knowing how Niall loved him all these years really all the push he needed? 

Yeah, possibly.

And yes, he could be in love with Niall.

He really liked the idea of being the one who made Niall happy, made Niall light up like a Christmas tree. Harry wants them to be happy together.

He wants to experience things with Niall like he's never experienced them before.  

He can already feel all these new sensations starting to build inside of him, lighting up within him, catching flame, spreading through him like a forest fire, licking at each of his limbs until it’s nearly consumed him, reduced him to ash.

It burns him up but he likes the heat.

 

It's the fifth day that he gets out his phone and his laptop and his photo albums and goes through every picture of him and Niall and finally realizes how  _good_  they look together. Notices how Niall's eyes light up just a little more when Harry looks at him as opposed to the other boys. 

And he reads through all their tweets and texts and emails and laughs giddily because Niall makes him happier than he'd ever known somebody could. 

And he watches all their old vines, feels something swell inside him, the fire builds further as butterflies take flight in his stomach as the heat of it warms their wings and it dawns on him that he'd never really felt love because this, he thinks is what it's supposed to feel like.

 

Day number 6 is when he thinks back on all their moments, all the good times and the bad that weren't captured on film or documented in a text. He thinks about how Niall's always been there, he's been a constant in this whirlwind life they're living. Harry learns he doesn't like thinking about his life if Niall isn't in it with him, it makes him sick to his stomach to think about a day when he doesn't see Niall at least once. Notices he doesn't want certain things if Niall isn't there to enjoy them with him. Like he can't eat, won't eat Nandos if he isn't placing an order for Niall as well, and how can't play football if he isn't attempting to kick the ball to Niall because if he isn't what’s the point?

 

On the 7th day he discovers fanfiction about them and fanvids and he  _can't get enough_. He learns that he likes the fluffy stories because he enjoys being the one that makes Niall smile and laugh and shine like a star. And then learns that smut is a thing he shouldn't read when others are around because some of this stuff gets rather racy and he didn't know his pants could get  _that_  tight. He finds that he wants to do a lot of these things to Niall,  _with_  Niall. He wants to turn pale skin bright red in a matter of seconds, he wants to make Niall blush with hushed, filthy words and wants to be the reason Niall pants and screams and moans, wants to make Niall sweat. He wants to leave marks all over delicate, porcelain skin and wants to be the one that makes Niall see stars and lose control and black out on occasion because when they're together they'll be too hot to handle, they'll set the world on fire, colliding to create this epic supernova of love and passion and wonder and it'll be perfect and stunning and awe-inspiring.

He wants to make Niall weak in the knees, so he delves further into the world of fanfiction to give him ideas on how exactly to do that.

 

The 8th day is the first time he touches himself throughout this whole ordeal and cums faster, harder than he ever had because it's Niall's face that popped into his head, Niall's lips he imagined on his own and Niall's name that fell from his slack lips as he finished. 

He's realizes what a gigantic idiot he is, has been, for not feeling the pull of this, not feeling the magic of it before now.

 

It's on the 9th day however that he takes a step back, several actually. Because Niall's too good for him. Niall deserves better, Niall deserves the best. Who is Harry to come in after all this time, decide that he wants a shot at Niall Horan when Niall's been there all along and Harry could hardly spare him the time of day. He's been a jackass all these years, ignoring what was right in front of him and he's positive that Niall can do better than him.

Day number 10 he realizes that yeah Niall can do better, he probably should but he doesn't seem to want to. Niall's been his from day one and Harry didn't know but he knows now and everyone can be damn sure he isn't going to be screwing this one up because Niall deserves the best and Harry's determined to be just that.

 

Day 12 he calls him mum and his sister and talks to Robin for a long time, tells them about his 'change of heart,' apparently they'd been waiting for this day for  _years_ , doodles on the notepad on the counter as they talk and he realizes only after he's hung up that he'd been writing Niall's name surrounded by hearts all over the paper, N+H in the middle and wow. 

Has he always been in love with that blonde haired Irishman or is this really all brand new? Or is Niall that one thing that somehow found its way deep into Harry's bloodstream, there all along, Harry just needed the proper push.

 

On the 13th day he orders a bouquet of roses and calls Louis to tell him the news, asks him to help him set up a big romantic gesture for Niall because he deserves something special after being so patient all this time. Louis agrees and Harry's certain he's never heard the oldest boy sound quite so proud in all the time he's known him.

 

The 14th day, the last day of contemplation, Harry has one final panic attack before he gets going, cleans himself up, does his hair and wears his best jeans and nicest jacket because Niall needs to know he's serious. Serious about this, serious about them and know that Harry wants to give them a valiant effort, give this a go because he's been stupid and oblivious and careless but now he's grateful, so, so grateful because Niall's waited all this time and Harry's finally going to make it up to him.

He relies on Louis to get Niall to the park on time. It's the promise of football and picnic food that does it.

Niall’s dressed rather casually but Harry hadn’t been expecting him to dress up, gray zip up sweatshirt with a plain white tank underneath, dark jeans, he looks good. Harry actually notices that he looks good, feels his heart kick in his chest because Niall always looks good, he’s never looked bad, Harry’s just being impacted by it differently now. He can finally say that he thinks Niall looks amazing, beautiful even.

 

Harry watches Niall scan the area for Louis and Josh and anybody really, scratches the back of his head when he doesn’t see anyone he was supposed to be meeting, Harry feels all warm and fuzzy inside when Niall starts scuffing the tip of his sneaker against the sidewalk, lifting his wrist to check the time on his watch.

Niall’s a sort of easy; every day, _effortless_ perfection that Harry didn’t know existed.

He observes the blonde as he catches sight of a single red rose placed on the pavement a few paces ahead of him, watches as Niall looks around once more to see if anyone's there, not seeing Harry where he’s hidden behind a tree (creepy he knows, _shut up_ ), before scurrying up to the flower.

Niall picks it up, inspects it and nearly tosses it away when he finds that it's meant for him, the tag on the stem bears his name, with a doodle heart beside it.

A few more steps down the side walk is another rose with another tag on the stem, Niall moves to pick that one up, reads the note that says, ‘I set out on a narrow way many years ago,’ and on the back of the card, ‘Hoping I would find true love along the broken road’.

Harry watches a small smile tug on Niall’s lips.

And another two roses, stems crossed in an ‘x’ a few meters away, ‘But I got lost a time or two, wiped my brow and kept pushing through,’ and on the second one ‘I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you.’

Niall now stands in the center of the park, absolutely beaming and Harry has to force himself to stay hidden till Niall comes up to find the few roses laid at the base of the same tree he's taken shelter behind.

‘Every long lost dream led me to where you are,’

 

‘Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars,'

 

‘Pointing me on my way into your loving arms, this much I know is true,’

 

‘That God blessed the broken road, that led me straight to you,’

 

Niall is slowly making his way to the tree in the middle of the green, eight roses and counting, tucked safely in his arms.

There are three laid at the base of the tree, Niall bends to pick them up, Harry holds his breath.

Listens with his heart in his throat as Niall hums the tune to the song Harry’s used to lure him in.

‘I think about the years I spent just passing through,’

 

‘I’d like to have the time I lost and give it back to you,’

 

‘But you just smile and take my hand, you’ve been there you understand,’

 

And Harry steps out, unable to wait any longer, Niall stops humming when he sees Harry there. Fingers clutch at the stems before letting them all flutter to the ground.

Harry holds up a hand before coming closer, reaches down to gather the 11 roses on the ground, holds them out to Niall who doesn’t take them, just stumbles back a step away from Harry.

The younger boy sighs, hands Niall the last rose, the 12th one to make it a dozen.

Niall looks at it warily before curiosity takes over and he accepts the proffered flower, careful not to touch Harry’s fingers with his own as he removes it from the brunettes grip.

‘It’s all part of a grander plan that is coming true.’

Niall scoffs.

He definitely isn’t smiling anymore.

Throws the rose at Harry, hitting him square in the chest with it before it falls to the ground, landing deftly at Harry’s feet, Niall turns...he has to get out of here, he can’t be here, can’t do this! Harry’s such a dick, using one of his favorite songs to make a fool of him,  _as if!_

And Niall makes to run but Harry catches him around the waist, tugs him back. Niall squirms violently in his arms like he can't stomach that Harry's hands are on him this way. Harry wrestles with him briefly, wrangles him till he settles slightly, spins the blonde so they’re facing each other, "I'm sorry," is what Harry says but Niall's having none of it.

"Don't," he hisses, "I don't need your fucking pity."

Harry freezes before pulling Niall closer against him, heaving chests pressing flush together.

"It's not pity Niall, I love you," and it's Niall's turn to freeze. His eyes widen to the size of saucers, blink up at Harry, who doesn't like how frightened Niall looks. 

Niall starts squirming again, pounds his fists against Harry's chest till he loosens his arms, giving Niall some space.

"Don't lie to me," he whimpers as he tugs free of Harry's grip. He looks disheveled and scarred, on the edge of something but Harry can see he isn't willing to let himself hope for this to be true, he's past that, past a lot of things. And Harry's forced him there.

 

"'M not lying to you, Niall I love you and I've been so stupid for not seeing how you loved me too. I want the chance to make you happy;  _I want to be with you_ ,"

 

"You don't mean any of this," Niall covers his face with his hands, choking back the sob that so badly wants to leave his throat.

"Yes I do,"

"No you don't," Niall's voice is hard as he shoves against Harry’s chest, knocking him away, there are tears welling up in his eyes and Harry doesn't reach out to soothe them away, even though he wants to. 

"You feel sorry for me, because I'm the loser who has this ridiculous _, pathetic crush_  on you and you're trying to make it better but guess what...you can't Harry, okay, you can't, so  _stop_   _lying to me._ "

 

"Niall," Harry tries to take Niall's hands in his but Niall rips them away. "I'm not lying to you, I wouldn't lie about this. I found out how you felt about me and I did a lot of thinking and...well I've realized that I want all the same things you do, I think I love you and I'm gonna try really hard to--"

 

Niall's eyes meet his then and they're wild, crazy but glassy. "You're  _gonna try,_ " Harry realizes his mistake. Rushes to fix it but Niall's already too far gone, "Try to what,  _love me_? Because it's such a fucking  _burden_  to love me, right?! Well please Harry don't do anything that's going to inconvenience you, and certainly don't do this on my account. I'll survive, I've survived this far haven't I?! I'll be fine so just go away, don't you have a boyfriend you could be boning right now or something?"

 

"I broke up with Trav," Harry says. Niall halts, mid step where he was turning around to leave. 

"What," he chokes out, heart lodging itself painfully in the back of his throat.

 

Harry clears his throat, "Last week...I broke things off," Harry steps closer and considers it a good sign that Niall doesn't move away or run or hit him or all the above.

"Told him that I loved him," Niall does step back then but Harry closes the distance easily, takes Niall's face in his hands, "But there's somebody I love more," he leans his forehead against Niall's as the blonde boys' breathing picks up. "You Niall, you're who I love more." 

Niall lets out a ragged, labored breath, Harry breathes in his exhale. 

 

"I-I," Niall doesn't get to say much else because Harry kisses him. Lips connect; move together,  _holy shit is this real life?_ Fingers curl over his jaw, satin soft lips press to Niall's slightly chapped ones, gentle as a whisper but perfect as anything. Fucking hell this is exactly what Niall's been waiting on and it's cliché to say but it's, Harry's lips caressing his, kissing him so lovingly it’s even better than Niall ever imagined it'd be. And that's something Niall's imagined a lot, thought about so frequently, ad nauseam. 

Harry lets out a heavy sigh as their lips press together again, it whooshes out against Niall's face, the smaller boys' lips twitch up,  _a smile._

Slow and gentle, Niall will remember this always. He doesn't know what to do with his hands though, all the scenarios he's created about this seemed so simple, effortless and this is easy, kissing and being kissed by Harry but he  _doesn't know what to do with his hands!_

Hesettles for clutching at the fabric of Harry's jacket, tugging on it, tight within his fingers to keep Harry right here with those lips on his.

 

He's astounded by how they fit together, how their lips seem to have been made to mold to one another's like this. He knew that they would but it's nice to know he wasn't crazy for believing it so strongly.

Harry pulls back after a short while and they're both out of breath even though it wasn't strenuous in the least bit. Niall chocks it up to pent up emotion and a lot of anticipation, he'd been harboring a great deal of both since he first realized he wanted Harry all to himself.

 

Harry's still holding Niall's face gently in his hands, cradling his head in a way that's more right, makes more sense than 2+2=4. Niall's lightheaded because this is happening; they just kissed, that just  _happened_!

Long fingers run through Niall's hair, brushes some off his heated forehead, the blush Niall's sporting gets worse. Harry kisses his heated cheek before leaning his head against Niall's temple, sighing contently, Niall answers it in kind.

 

"I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner, didn't see  _you_  sooner," Harry whispers, hot breath giving Niall goose bumps. "You're everything I ever wanted, could ever want and need and I didn't realize. I'm sorry you got hurt, that I hurt you...can you ever forgive me,"

 

Niall's looks at him like he's gone nuts but Harry's serious as can be. 

 

"Promise me you aren't lying, that you don't feel this way about me because you feel guilty, and I'll forgive you," 

Harry smiles at him, soft and secret, likes it's not meant for anyone but Niall, Niall likes this already.

 

"I promise, I love you Niall," bright blue eyes, are happier than Harry's seen them in ages, analyze his answer and he must like what he sees because Niall jumps on him then, launching himself into Harry's arms. 

He buries his face in Harry's shoulder as the younger boy laughs at his reaction, Harry holds him close, and when Niall's feet land back on the ground his lips are secure in Harry's once more. Niall sighs "I forgive you," into Harry's insistent mouth and Harry feels likes he got it all.

The sky rumbles above them but neither boy cares too much. 

Niall pulls back and he can't stop staring at this green eyed angel between kisses, it's all too good to be true.

 

But as luck would have it, it starts to rain, pour actually. Soaking their clothes straight through but Niall doesn't even seem notice that his hair is sticking to his forehead, clothes clinging uncomfortably to his skin, too busy looking at Harry, Harry, who's he's wanted for so long, who is finally looking at him and  _seeing_  him.

 

"I'd like very much if we started seeing each other," Harry says over the thunder rolling above them, "Be mine,"

Niall can't find his voice right away so he nods rapidly, and Harry smiles down at him like that's all he's ever wanted to know, Niall sure hopes that's the case.

 

He kisses Harry again, loves how Harry's bigger than him because he can bend Niall backwards, dip him with the kiss like they're in an old black and white film, where romance is the main theme and the characters are destined to be regardless of any previous differences or discrepancies or disputes. The characters  _knew_  how things would end for them just like how Niall always knew Harry was his happy ending and he was Harry's,  _fin_.

 

"That's, that's" Niall pants, pecks Harry's smiling lips repeatedly as he tries to gather his thoughts, hums happily before continuing. "That's all," he tips is head back, letting the rain wash over his skin, cooling him down as he burns up from the inside out. "That's all I've ever wanted," and his fingers catch in Harry's sodden curls, tug them till Harry presses their mouths together again, and Niall smiles against Harry's as Harry's lips curl with his, Niall doesn't need anything else as his heart pounds away in chest louder than the thunder.

....

 

They both catch nasty colds from staying out in the storm but Niall certainly doesn't care since Harry stays at his place and they sleep curled around each other like Niall always knew they would, they hold hands and Niall plays with Harry's long, chilly fingers, laces them with his own, clings to them through the night like an otter so he knows Harry won't float away. 

Harry makes them chicken noodle soup which they take turns feeding each other and they watch every Disney Pixar film there is. 

 

Their colds get better and the sniffles subside but Niall knows Harry's the reason it passed so fast. Harry's his remedy, his drug of choice, his medication that can cure all his ailments, far more than the common cold.

....

 

They make love for the first time on a Friday night just beyond the 3 month mark. Niall tells Harry he's ready, tells him all the things he wants but is nervous about because he's never gone 'all the way' before. He’s newly 22 and he’s done stuff with people but he’s still technically a virgin.

Harry promises to be gentle, promises he won't hurt him.

It does hurt but only a little because Harry goes so slow, takes an entire,  _torturous_  hour stretching Niall open, after sucking him off so he was relaxed and boneless enough to not be tensed up the whole time, Niall comes once just on Harry's fingers alone and Harry whispers his love for Niall into his smooth creamy skin, and Niall's like a bird, high flying, soaring through the sky.

Harry's so gentle with him, so cautious, so good as if Niall would shatter in his fingers like a china doll if he moved wrong just once.

The sting doesn't last long when Harry pushes inside and even as it sears a path up Niall's spine, makes his hips hurt and his stomach ache he doesn't mind, maybe even enjoys it because Harry's the reason, is the one stuffing him full and Niall doesn't want it to ever end. 

 

And when Harry sighs an 'I love you Niall,' just as he comes hard inside of him, Niall swears the Kentucky Derby is being raced inside his chest as his heart gallops its way into oblivion, intent on that coveted carpet of roses.

 

Once they're settled down and Harry's tucked him in, close to his side, head pillowed on Harry's sturdy chest, Niall traces his tattoos, like he's taken to doing every night before he falls asleep, cock soft and flaccid where it's pressed between his pelvis and the side of Harry's thigh, it's a night Niall will remember forever.

And he lets Harry know.

 

"Thank you," Niall whispers into the dark room, knowing Harry's looking at him because he can feel those eyes on the top of his head.

Harry kisses his forehead, noses along his hairline, Niall cranes his head back, blinks slowly up at his boyfriend, huffs a laugh when Harry swoops in to kiss him languidly, Niall melts against him.

 

"I'm so tempted to say something cheeky but I don't even know what you're thanking me for," Harry clasps his hands together against the edge of Niall's shoulder, tight and secure.

 

Niall ducks his head into the crook of Harry warm neck because now he's a little embarrassed. Maybe his gratitude should've stayed in a thought bubble. But Harry nudges him out of his hiding place, smiles kindly down at him, there's a hint of something else, more than love...adoration? 

Niall might actually get sick; he can't handle all these emotions.

 

"Hey, s'jus me," Harry speech runs together as sleeps weighs heavier and heavier down on him. "Thank you for what," he yawns, big and loud and cat-like, Niall snickers at him, Harry apologizes.

Niall's eyes flick up to meet happy green ones, Niall's never been so crazy about this guy, never been more in love with him than he is right now.

 

"Jus' thanks for takin' care of me, makin' it so special,"

Harry lights up a little at that, nuzzles his nose against Niall's and Niall accepts the kiss Harry gives him.

"It was my pleasure love, I love making you feel good, making you smile, making you laugh... you don't need to thank me, first times should be special."

 

"You made it special though, I knew you would,"

"And I'm honored that you chose me to share that with, I've never been given a greater gift," Harry looks like a peacock preening handsomely, he drags the back of his fingers along Niall's cheek before moving to run them through the blonde hair behind his ear.

 

Niall coughs quickly, "I wouldn't've ever given it to anyone else, I had been saving it, saving  _me_  for  _you_."

And Harry looks at him then, harder than he ever has. His mouth falls open a little bit before his eyes darken some, moss turns to hunter and a light bulb goes off.

Harry might've been tired a few minutes ago but he certainly isn't anymore as he tackles Niall back against the mattress, kisses him repeatedly till Niall can't breathe and is left a squealing, giggling mess as Harry says "I love you, I love you so much, fucking  _hell_  I love you," over and over again, on a loop.

 

Okay Niall lied,  _now_  he's never been more in love with Harry.

He falls asleep that night safe in Harry's warm, strong arms, and every time he rolls over and collides with a different body part of Harry's he always lays a kiss to it just so Harry can know on a subconcious level how deeply, how completely Niall enjoys having him there with him. And Harry always snuffles sweetly at the touch, reaches out for Niall in the dark, tugs Niall impossibly close to him and Niall's heart swells inside him to the point of bursting. 

 

And in the morning when his lower back hurts like a  _mother_  Harry gets a heat pack, and offers him a massage. They take a hot bath together in the afternoon and Niall  _knew_  being Harry's would be a dream come true but he didn't know just how much of a prince Harry would see him as, treat him like. 

 

It's wonderful and knowing he's the crown prince to the monarchy that rules Harry's land makes it that much better. But Harry is Niall's prince as well so somebody needs to fetch him a crown too.

....

 

Niall and Harry come out in December, 4 months after they get together. They're at an award show, hold hands on the red carpet and well the fans go ape-shit, the media has a field day but Niall doesn't care because Harry leans down to kiss him in front of the cameras and Niall feels like he could float away. The screams are deafening and the flashes, never ending but Harry wraps an arm tight around his waist, Niall leans into him, decides to stay right here, on the ground because he's got every reason under the sun to. And all his reasons are Harry, Harry and oh yeah Harry. 

They're the talk of the town for weeks, most of it good, some of it not so much but Niall disregards the bad stuff because he's got Harry who kisses him goodnight and brings him flowers on random Tuesday afternoons and takes him out, shows him off and tickles him on the couch just to hear him laugh, Harry who makes him smile more than anyone else ever could and Niall's happy, so happy he could die but he won't because he doesn't want to miss a minute with Harry.

 

He decides that he's happy for all the people who came before him because without them, without the girls who broke his heart, or the ones that didn't fit, the one that did, or the boy who Niall envied far more than was healthy, he wouldn't have Harry now.

Niall's a very strong believer in the sentiment that everything happens for a reason. He swears by that.

If Harry hadn't dated all those girls and that one guy he wouldn't have been led to Niall. 

Harry got lost, on several occasions, tripped into other people, fell for the wrong ones more times than Niall can count but without those misguided attempts and lessons in love, on how to love someone the right way, properly Niall wouldn't be the one with Harry by his side today.

All the others who came before him where like flashing signs or beacons in the night that pointed Harry in the direction he was supposed to go. Showed him where he was inevitably supposed to end up, with Niall.

Niall wouldn't have Harry's heart, wouldn't have his lips on his, wouldn't be the one to stoke the fire in Harry's eyes, without all the others Niall might've never been given Harry in the first place.

 

So if ever he should see any of them again, he'd like to thank them, all of them, shake their hands or kiss their cheeks because if Harry hadn't had them, loved them he might never have learned what it meant to love Niall and that...that thought scares Niall more than cramped spaces and no windows ever could.

....

As it turns out, Niall’s the one person to make it past that dreaded 4 month 10 day mark, only one person previously had ever made it to that point.

And he’s still got Harry at 5 months, and they’re still together at 6, and aren’t sick of each other by 10 and are still in love when they come up on a year and it’s perfect and wonderful and still so, _so_ right.

And two years later Niall's still got Harry to call his own and neither have ever been with someone for so long but they also don't want to be with anyone else.

So as they come up on their sixth anniversary as a band and Niall and Harry get ready to celebrate two years of blissful togetherness, Harry pops the question. 

Gets down on one knee and the boys smile wider than they ever have, Lou and Lux squeal while Preston and Paul pretend they aren't tearing up and Niall, well Niall says yes. Say yes a hundred times and kisses Harry harder than he ever has before, doesn't move from Harry's arms for a good 15 minutes and everyone leaves to give them some privacy.

 

Harry wipes away Niall's happy tears, kisses his forehead with the promise of making Niall happy for the rest of his life, promises him late sleepless nights curled around each other just whispering their love into the darkness. And promises early morning wake up calls where Harry's lips press hotly to Niall's, rousing him from sleep in the best way there is. Promises breakfast in bed and movie dates and Christmas's in London with both their families together around the table.

And just like when Harry first told Niall he wanted to be with him he promises him love and laughter and kisses and love making and hand holding and hugs and romance and passion and shared clothing and matching rings and  _can you hear the wedding bells chiming in the distance, those are for us._

And kids that'll come later on...a life that's what Harry promises Niall, a lifetime, forever with each other, together till death do them part. It's the best thing Niall's ever heard.

 

Niall tips his head back and thanks his heavenly stars because that's all he's ever wanted, that's everything he's ever wanted and Harry, Harry's there to make it all come true.

 

"Did I ever thank you for waiting," Harry whispers against the skin of Niall's elongated throat.

Niall moves to look at him, eyebrows knitted in confusion, Harry kisses him before Niall can say anything. Kisses him long and slow and deep and Niall swears he's falling in love all over again.

"Thank you," Harry breathes when they part, voice soft and sincere. Niall's too dazed to really know what's going on although he knows he's confused and he says as much.

 

"For waiting," Harry says again but it doesn't really clarify anything until, "You had every opportunity,  _every reason_  to give up on me, move on, find someone better but you didn't. You didn't have to wait as long as you did and nobody would've blamed you if you stopped but...just thank you,"

"I wouldn’t’ve ever stopped, I knew we were meant to be together, knew that you were the one I was supposed to spend my life with, I would've waited however long until you knew it too," Harry kisses him again.

"You, Niall Horan are the  _best_  thing about me," 

Niall laughs, blushing wildly as he tucks his head into Harry's shoulder. 

"I love you," and Niall feels his heart take flight, just as it does whenever Harry says those words to him. 

 

They get married seven months later and everyone they love, family and friends are there to celebrate with them. The fandom explodes at the pictures their guests tweet and Niall truly, has never been happier.

He says 'I do,' to his curly haired groom, knees nearly giving out as Harry's eyes twinkle down at him and when Harry says it back Niall feels like he's on top of the world. They seal it with a kiss and the boys cheer for them louder than ever before because things are simply perfect and Niall knew this was his endgame all along, they call it Irish intuition.

Niall's overjoyed that his life turned out the way it so wonderfully has and Harry will never stop being grateful for the patience Niall possesses for if it weren't for that, he wouldn't be married to his best friend, and life wouldn't make a shred of sense to him.

Harry will be forever glad that he has Niall to help him make sense of it all. And he's glad for all the people who came before Niall who showed him the way, led him to Niall, to where he belongs.

 

******

 

 


End file.
